A Response Letter On Christian Hostility to Gays

Last Sunday our pastor gave an excellent sermon on repentance. During his sermon, he explained in detail how we all have blind spots about our flaws, and how these blind spots, in conjunction with our natural defensiveness, preclude repentance. He also mentioned that our tendency to hide our flaws from others is often a means of maintaining an "illusion of control."

But then he cited Ted Haggard as an example of a man "hiding to maintain the illusion of control." I immediately thought "we're kidding ourselves if we think that's why Ted Haggard was hiding - he was hiding because Christians are hostile to gays. We need to own this and repent."

Just like the preacher man is saying

So I expressed my thoughts on the matter - our Church is interactive - and I created a bit of a stir. Later, that day I wrote a letter to our Pastor, which I cc'd to a few mutual friends. One of those friends responded. My response to that friend is what follows.

Hope you find it interesting.

P.S. I've changed the names to protect the innocent.

*********************

Hey so and so. Here are a few thoughts in reply.

I don’t dispute the complexity of the Ted Haggard case. The reason I spoke up was twofold. First, Preacher man's citing to him as an example of someone who fell because he was “hiding to maintain the illusion of control” seemed obviously wrong. There are lots of reasons why Haggard might have been hiding, but it seems supremely unlikely that the “desire to maintain the illusion of control” was one of them.

But more fundamentally, the best explanation for why Haggard was hiding seems clear – and it seems only tangentially related to his employment. He was hiding because of Christian hostility to his sexual orientation. Ted Haggard was not merely hiding the fact that he was having gay sex – that is, he was not merely hiding behavior that might have gotten him fired, as you suggest. He was hiding the fact that he was and is a homosexual (more on this shortly). Whatever other reason he had for hiding his sexual orientation, the core reason seems pretty clear – evangelical Christians are hostile to gays. They would not have embraced him as a Christian leader were he to have been openly gay, even if he had sworn an oath to Christian teaching on the issue and promised complete celibacy. People can believe otherwise, but I think they are delusional.

This is not an issue of orthodoxy. Christianity does not teach that being a homosexual, defined as having a same sex attraction, is sinful. No one thinks, or should think, that simply being a homosexual is sinful. It is the sexual activity that people condemn. At worse (so and so's view), being a homosexual is morally equivalent to having a disposition to commit some other type of wrongful conduct. At best (my view), being a homosexual is equivalent to having some other morally neutral disposition – such as being left handed. But which ever perspective is right, being a homosexual itself is certainly not sinful, so there should be no hostility towards gay people as such. There should be no reason that Ted Haggard could not have announced his sexuality and built the ministry he built. But there is. We are hostile and Haggard could not have accomplished what he accomplished without hiding his sexual orientation.

I’m not saying that Ted Haggard was pure of heart in building or maintaining his ministry, or in his other conduct. The ONLY thing I am saying is that we are inappropriately hostile towards homosexuals, and we need to repent of this hostility.

I agree with you that Sunday morning is not the appropriate venue for a discussion of this issue. However, Preacher Man was talking about repentance and “blind spots” and defensiveness. He then cited Ted Haggard as an example of someone who “fell as a result of hiding to maintain the illusion of control.” When I heard him say that, I thought to myself, “everyone’s willingness to accept that account of Haggard’s fall is a perfect example of what Preacher man is talking about." The most fundamental reason for his hiding his homosexuality is our ungodly and irrational hostility towards homosexuality. Haggard's initial hiding of his homosexuality laid the groundwork for all the other hiding and deception that came afterwards. But Christians are blind to that fact. They have no clue that they play any role in keeping gays in a closet of shame. We have a blind spot – precisely the sort that Preacher Man was talking about in his sermon. We need to repent.

The irony is that Preacher Man was preaching about blind spots and defensiveness as impediments to repentance. He was talking about letting ourselves be “winnowed.” But when I suggested that we have a blind spot (our ungodly hostility towards gays) that had just been demonstrated by our uncritical acceptance of Preacher Man’s account of Ted Haggard’s hiding, the response seemed defensive – references to Haggard’s “adultery,” quibbles about whether we really “forced” Haggard to hide, and debate about whether he was truly gay. All these issues were distractions. My criticism was clear. I was criticizing us for our ungodly hostility. But we would have none of that.

By the way, the question as to whether Haggard is gay is silly. He is sexually attracted to other men. He has demonstrated this by his conduct. Being sexually attracted to other men is what it means to be gay. My statement that he was and is gay should not be controversial, regardless of what he says about himself. He is gay. You and I are straight. Those are facts.

The tension about this issue has to do with whether Haggard (or any other homosexual) is unalterably gay. Christians seem intent on believing that gay men are actually confused, or damaged, or depraved heterosexuals, rather than homosexuals. They fear conceding the point that many homosexuals are unalterably homosexual – despite the testimony of many thousands of people. They fear that once this is conceded, homosexuality will cease to be thought of as a behavior (which seems immoral and repulsive) and come to be seen as a circumstance that people can empathize with. I get that, but I think Christians should ask themselves why they are so willing to entertain claims that people can be cured of homosexuality? Do we accept these claims based on evidence, or because we desperately want to maintain our traditional beliefs?

Of course, none of this excuses my rudeness. And I didn’t mean to white wash you in an over broad manner. Not all Christians are hostile to gays. I would have expected those who were not hostile to gays to be encouraged by my bringing the issue up. Also, I understand that many Christians are not ready to deal with this issue, and will feel defensive when it is brought up. But that’s just it. I’m trying to get them ready. They need to get ready, because this is the biggest issue the church will face in the next two decades. I know it will make people uncomfortable. But if we don’t start thinking about this issue and moving towards some kind of accommodation – like we have achieved with the issue of divorce – we’ll increasingly been seen as bigots.

Repentance from our hostility is the first step.

Anyway, thanks for your response. I appreciate your listening and responding.

Joe