Proposition 8, Gay Marriage, and Moral Certainty

The debate about Gay marriage reminds me of a young man who told Socrates that he intended to prosecute his father for murder. The case was complicated. The young man’s father had killed a family slave. But the slave had killed another man in a drunken rage. Moreover, the young man’s father had not executed the guilty slave, but merely bound him and left him outside in a ditch while seeking guidance from the authorities. Unfortunately, the bound slave died of exposure before the authorities issued their ruling.

Upon hearing the young man’s story, Socrates marveled. He noted that only a man of "advanced wisdom" would act so decisively in a case featuring obvious complexities, not to mention one’s own father. Socrates then asked the young man to teach him about morality. Unaware of the trap, and eager to display his wisdom before Athen’s most renowned citizen, the young man accepted the invitation. Unfortunately, as their discussion unfolded it became clear that the man knew absolutely nothing about morality. Once Socrates’ questions exposed the young man as an ignorant zealot, he quickly rushed off to avoid further embarrassment.

Feelings of moral certainty are empowering. They often move people to act decisively for the good. But moral certainty has a dark side. That dark side is illustrated by those times in which we’ve tenaciously clung to long standing beliefs with feelings of absolute certitude, only to subsequently realize that we were dead wrong. In those cases, our actions ignorantly harmed, and often destroyed, many ordinary people’s lives. And every so often, as the executions of Socrates and Jesus demonstrate, the frenzy of our moral certitude has pushed us to reach beyond the merely ordinary and to strike down the most virtuous and wise of our kind.

American history is replete with instances where widespread feelings of moral certainty sustained systematic injustice. One need only watch the footage of the civil rights protests, particularly the footage of white people hurling vicious and vividly animated insults at the “agitators,” to see the dangers of certainty. I’ve often wondered how many of the young white teenagers appearing in that footage now recoil in horror as they watch their previous conduct. I’d be surprised if many didn’t.

Currently, a slim majority of Americans continue to oppose gay marriage. Conservative activists in California insist that a constitutional amendment is the only way to preserve the institution. But as I listen to the “arguments” offered by the opponents of gay marriage, I can’t help but think that most of these opponents will eventually look back on their attitudes with a profound sadness.

I say this because of one very simple truth. There are no compelling arguments for condemning homosexuality or for excluding gays from civil marriage. Opponents can cite no feature of homosexuality establishing that it is immoral, nor can they cite any specific and reasonable worries about the effects of allowing gays to marry. As far as I can tell, the basis for the feelings of moral certainty that motivate the opponents of gay marriage boil down to two familiar premises. “God condemns homosexuality” and “Ick!”

I don’t know whether God condemns homosexuality. Theologians are divided on that question. I think it far more illuminating to ask why God would condemn homosexuality? Why would God care that a small percentage of his created beings vary from the natural heterosexual theme and love members of their own sex? Why would same sex copulation offend the Almighty so much that he would declare it an “abomination?” Being a Christian myself, I’ve asked numerous religious friends this question and no one has ever given me a satisfactory answer. What I have noticed is that when people try to answer my question, and are pressed to defend their answers, they inevitably fall back on the “Ick” premise.

And it’s not that I don’t understand their feelings of “Ick.” I still feel them myself to some extent. But I also remember my Father’s “Ick” lecture to my older sister, when she wanted to date a black man in the early 1970’s. And I remember his regret over that lecture in the early 1990’s, when I married interracially. The fact is, feelings of “Ick” are a not a reasonable basis for moral certainty. They are especially problematic when they form the foundation for a political crusade. In the story, the young man’s prosecution was motivated by pure moral fervor. There was no insight behind his zeal. But as far as I can tell the same thing is true regarding the opponents of gay marriage.

Let me encourage those who oppose gay marriage to stop and ask yourselves whether there is anything more tangible than feelings of “Ick” behind your conviction. Doing this may save the gays of our nation a great deal of pain in the coming years. It may also save you some regret in the late 2020’s.