"I Believe that Marriage is the Union of One Man and One Woman"

I've noticed that opponents of same sex marriage, when asked to state a reason for their opposition, frequently respond, "I believe that marriage is the union between one man and one woman." That belief, of course, is not a reason for opposing same sex marriage. For one thing, it is no longer even true, legally speaking, that marriage is a union between one man and one woman. There are eighteen thousand same sex marriages in California alone. Nor does that statement supply any grounds for opposing same sex marriage. It is, at best, a restatement of one's position on the issue - a statement about what one believes (or wishes for), rather than a reason supporting that position or preference.

However, the statement has the look and feel of a reason. It was, after all, true, and obviously so, until very recently - at least in the modern Western world. Repeating that fact sounds like one is giving a reason. This allows opponents of same sex marriage to convince themselves, and others, that they are principled and reasoned opponents.

Well, let me put an end to that right now.

Suppose you asked me why I support including same sex couples within the institution of marriage, and I replied, "I believe that marriage is the union between two spouses." This answer, you will notice, is not only true in the way the first response was true, it remains true. However, I doubt that any opponent of same sex marriage will be persuaded by this statement, or think that it provides grounds for my position. Nor should they be persuaded. My response doesn't provide any grounds for my position - it simply describes marriage in a way that accommodates my position (or preference) that same sex couples be allowed to marry.

Of course, opponents of same sex marriage will say that my description of marriage is incomplete. They'll say that a complete description of marriage precludes marriage by same sex couples. But that response simply restates the view that marriage is a union between one man and one woman. My response would be that the opponents' description of marriage is wrong because it excludes people who can be married (same sex couples). But that response merely repeats my initial view that marriage is a union of spouses, be they of the same or opposite sex variety.

Do you see how neither of us is arguing?

So enough with the "I believe that marriage is the union of. . . " responses. They’re not reasons.

Joe H.